Tag Archives: love

False Idols

Has anyone seen my credibility?

The PGA Tour is a one-trick pony; a metaphor for the advice that all mutual fund managers caution investors against.  Putting all your eggs into a solitary basket carries a high level of risk, but if the basket was the Tiger Woods of ten years ago—hell, the Tiger Woods of ten months ago—then that same risk wouldn’t represent much of a gamble at all.

Investing in Tiger is now an exercise in diminishing returns.

If love means never having to say you’re sorry, then why does Tiger’s mechanical apology feel like the hollow, insincere sham that it is?

Not that I ever felt an emotion that can be characterized as love for Tiger.  Sure, I love his gargantuan tee shots.  I love the surgical accuracy of his irons.  I love the Rembrandt-like strokes of his short game.  But if watching Michael Jordan in his prime has taught me anything at all, it is that I can appreciate the man for his abilities without having to love the jackass that he truly is.

To be certain, society has, in its collective form, been particularly tough on Tiger.  This treatment is deserved:  Tiger sold us an image that we eagerly purchased without bothering to retain the receipt.  He is the roadside charlatan with false promises of a diet supplement that cures nothing.  We take his ‘indiscretions’ personally because our heroes aren’t meant to display the same frailty that we have.

Tiger is sorry, not out of sincerity, but because he got caught.  The changes that he has promised to make are reactionary to his misfortunes, not the self-initiated sort he has proffered.  The genuine desire to change must come from within, not as a consequence.

One day soon, Tiger will return to the sport that he has dominated.  He will win more money; regain more endorsements; hoist more trophies.  He will claim every golf record that is statistically measurable.

I will be a witness to these events because I love golf and love the application of the skills necessary to succeed at it.

I will witness these events as an interested observer, not as a supporter.

I cannot enjoy this future success as his fan.

He has robbed me of that, too.

Future unknown, straight ahead.

Advertisements

1 Comment

Filed under Golf, Life, Relationships, Sports

Sole Mates?

Exhibit A

Now, husbands and wives fight; it’s what we do.

We quarrel, bicker, contest, spat, battle, debate, argue, retort, oppose, and agitate.

We defend our positions,  present new ideas, and cast our stones.

Sometimes, international decisions hang in the balance (who is ultimately responsible for Haiti’s recovery)?   Other times domestic issues take precedence (is it that hard to separate the whites from the colors)?

So long as there is no physical or mental abuse, it’s completely within the guidelines of what makes a healthy marriage.

But, after a recent scrum with the wife, I needed an outlet.

Shrinks always suggest to their clients to go buy themselves something.  Retail would be my medicine this day; new shoes the remedy.

But what kind of shoe?  Something casual, but not lazy.  Versatile, but not over done.  Fun, but not quirky.

Selection made, I wore them right out of the store to break them in.  I arrived home, curious to see if the wife would notice.

She looked at me, then at my new shoes and froze.

Ha! I detected a pang of jealousy.  I danced my gloat dance.

She could only stare at my feet with a look of complete disbelief.

My gloat dance started to lose steam.  The shoes must have sent her over the edge.

“Do you like them?” I asked.  The gloat dance began anew, a few exploratory steps.

My wife left the room.  What’s she so mad about?  They’re only shoes!

After a moment, she walked back into the room.

On her feet were the newly purchased female version of the exact same shoes (with slightly different color scheme)!

We stared at each other’s feet.

Somewhere, O. Henry shrieked with delight.

Damn it, woman.  It had to be you.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Leave a comment

Filed under Life, Relationships