The Year 2010, With a Side of Avocado

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So this is the future, huh?

* sniff* I’m not impressed.  

Sure, I own a car.  It just doesn’t hover, is all.

Yes, I have a home.  Just ignore the fact that it lacks conveyor belts and automatic sliding doors.

I have pets.  They are of the molecular– not titanium steel– variety.  It seems a little archaic, but they are nonetheless quite lovable.  And none of them are named Astro.

I know it’s a bit early in the new year– hell, it’s only January– but isn’t 2010 the year we make contact?

Maybe, my expectations are too high.  Maybe, we’ve reached the summit of humankind’s capacity to evolve.  Or maybe, we’ve reached a saturation point in our intellectual curiosity.

I mean, who gives a sh*t about space travel when we can just Twitter each other about what we had for lunch.

Maybe that will be the theme of the 2010:  Instead of progress, let’s regress!

If we’ve reached the crescendo of human thought, why not start devolving back to our original single-celled form.  Life was so much easier as a protozoa, anyway.

Or maybe, we’ll take a ride down the nostalgia turnpike and revisit each decade in reverse order!

Let’s start with the 80’s, the decade of my misguided youth, where hitchhiking, driving without a seat belt and drinking from your neighbor’s hose was safe and acceptable behavior.

Ah yes, the 80’s.  Transformers were animated and not CG, Magic and Bird were in The Finals and Clear Pepsi was a viable drinking option.  *sigh*

Then we’ll revive the 70’s where first I was afraid I was petrified/ kept thinking I could never live without you by my side/ but I spent so many nights thinking how you did me wrong/ I grew strong/ I learned how to carry on and so you’re back from outer space/ I just walked in to find you here with that sad look upon your face/ I should have changed my stupid lock/ I should have made you leave your key/ if I had known for just one second you’d be back to bother me.

But, I digress.

What about the sixties?  Where the courageous application of radical thoughts and ideas created a forward thinking momentum that would pave the way for this country to one day choose an African-American president.

Oh, and free love wasn’t bad, either.

So if 2010 is the future– and by every measure of Stanley Kubrick’s undeniable genius, all things indicate that it is– then I’m pretty disappointed.

In this age of information, it seems we know maybe too much about everything.  We have become calloused by our own knowledge; jaded by things that used to cause wonderment; unimpressed by the impressive.

In sum, dear reader, I submit to you that maybe the path to progress is to regress.

Collectively, we should reduce our perspective to that of a three-year old child, when we were enchanted by the world around us and were driven to discover more about it.  We should continue to be romanced by our universe.

Or, if that doesn’t strike your fancy, we can keep things as they are:  If anyone cares to know, I had a turkey sandwich for lunch.

With avocado.


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