Image by blog.enveeapparel.com

San Diego has been in the national news lately for events unrelated to Shamu the Killer Whale, illegal border crossings and the futility of the Chargers and Padres.

The weather is the reason for this unexpected rash of attention; and not the “80 degrees and sunny” that we’ve all grown accustomed to hearing about.

Apparently, America’s Finest City finds itself helpless against the cruelty of mother nature:  We’ve received nearly 1.4 inches of rain over the last 24 hours, running the five-day total to 3.5 inches!

Here’s a roll call of the anguish that San Diegans have been enduring over the past few days:

County residents have forgone washing their cars as the relentless rain continues to provide a zero-expense auto cleaning for the holidays.  Estimated savings will be parlayed into extra party dip on the next Costco run.

County residents are benefiting from a zero-expense lawn watering courtesy of madame naturale.  Estimated savings on resident water bills will go towards purchasing that extra chai latte at the local coffeehouse.

County surfers must stay away from the ocean as surface run-off from streets and gutters have made the tides a poisonous cocktail of toxins and waste.  The disappointed surf population must now lament having only a mere 355 days of favorable surf conditions for 2010.

San Diego doesn’t deserve this punishment!  Our fragile Southern California psyche can’t process life without sunshine.  Our gloriously tanned bodies and perfectly coiffed hair will melt away in this atmosphere!

The only precipitation we’re used to is the kind that runs down the container of our favorite iced-blended coffee drink!

Still, things could be worse, San Diego…

Dirk Doppler (Image by socaltrailriders.org)

Journalism Tip #2,080: When writing a piece on inclement weather, be sure to use colorful, exaggerated language.  For example, rain continues to slam San Diego.  Or try, San Diego County is (battered, hammered or pounded) by rain.  The more violent references, the better!  Don’t take my word for it!